A Day in the Life 2.0

Once before, for funsies, I did a little glimpse into what happens in a given day of a high-risk pregnant woman.  Since everyone seemed to get a kick out of it, here’s a day in the life of a new mom with a chronic illness in 10 gifs!

1. Wake Up via Crying Baby

NOTE: I would never say this, I just think it… very loudly

2. Calm Down Baby

Much like trying to pet a wild animal, attempting to cuddle away the cries usually ends in scratches and more crying

3. Prepare Bottle

Trying to function early in the morning whilst holding a baby in one arm is akin to trying to walk in a straight line after one too many lagers

4. Burp Baby –> Take Cover –> Change Baby

This one is pretty self explanatory

5. Attempt to Have Educational Play Time

Oh, Max, this is just the beginning of how uncool you’ll think I am

6. Try to Sneak Out to Pee/Eat/etc. While Baby Plays

If only I was this stealth

7. Don’t Let Baby Kill Himself

So much energy, so little coordination

Repeat Steps 2 – 7 ’til Bedtime

The days begin to blend together

8. Do Any/Everything to Get Baby to Sleep

Praying is a viable option, right?

9. Wonder if Baby is Really Asleep

Babies are sneaky little tricksters, like mini-Lokis

10. Rejoice! Baby is Asleep!

Be happy (even if it only lasts for a few hours), because you’ve earned it!

10 Things No One Tells You About C-Sections

Ah, the c-section. Whether it’s the iconic film scene of an alien bursting out of some poor chap’s torso or a picture of medieval torture in a history book, the images that come to mind when discussing c-sections are not usually happy ones. Let’s be honest: you’re getting major surgery, taking a tiny human out of a bigger human, and are (most likely) going to be awake for it all. So if anyone tries to dismiss your right to be a little antsy, well I won’t say what to do for legal reasons, but you get the idea. This isn’t meant to scare you, of course. But I always thought that the unknown was the scariest thing. At least if someone had told me what was going to happen during the c-section, I’d know what to expect. So that’s what I’m going to do for you. Here are all the gross, scary, awkward things that will happen before, during, and immediately after your c-section!

 

10. Paperwork & Red Tape

Even if you thought you were super smart and preregistered with your hospital prior to giving birth, there will still be paperwork to fill out and red tape to deal with for a solid twenty minutes. We arrived nice and early to our scheduled c-section, yet when we checked in at the desk (after my impromptu puke session in the parking lot bushes), they didn’t have my name right and had me listed with a different OBGYN. But we perma-sickies are used to knowing more than the hospital staff, aren’t we?

You better listen when I’m talking to you

9. You Will be All Sorts of Exposed

I knew my c-section wasn’t exactly going to be a fun getaway to Club Med (that’s still a thing, right?), but I didn’t expect to feel so much like a patient and not a person. That’s no reflection on the staff, it’s just the nature of the beast. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity in the lobby, my husband and I were taken back to our room where I was told to change. No undies or socks or jewelry, just a gown and a a gross hair net. Then a nurse came in and shaved my lady area and acted like it was a totally normal thing to do. This was my introduction to how matter of fact the staff would be about all the private and embarrassing aspects of the ordeal. In some ways it was reassuring, but at the end of the day it’s still very awkward when someone is silently shaving you.

Do I make eye contact? Or is that rude?

8. You Will be Alone… a lot

After the grooming session was over, I was told my husband would have to leave and no one would be allowed back in until the surgery was about to begin. Suddenly I was alone, just waiting for a nurse to come in, and full of time to daydream about all the things that could go wrong. Even after the pre-op stuff started, it’s still just you and a handful of people.  Technically they had more people on staff than usual as a precaution for my high-risk pregnancy risks, but without a loved one there you still feel very alone… and nervous.

becoolbecoolbecoolbecoolbecool

7. Yak City, Sick, Yak Yak City

Okay, my not-so clever spin on a line from a rap song may not be funny. But you know what is funny? Telling the nurse like nine hundred times that you’re GOING to puke, have them nod but do nothing, and then letting a glorious waterfall of vomit wash over them. It didn’t feel great, but a small part of me thought “maybe next time you’ll listen to me when I say I’m about to upchuck.”

Deal with it

The actual point of this entry is to warn you that you will definitely puke at some point. It may be when they’re poking or prodding or it may be when your internal organs suddenly shift as they finagle a human out of you. Which brings me to my next point…

6. Lines and Wires and Garishness, Oh My!

Second time in a row I’ve tried to be punny, but whatever, it’s who I am! Aaanyways, no one really told me the frequency with which people would simultaneously be both in and making holes in my body. First there was the three-attempt IV in my arm (EDS makes for lousy veins), then there was the two-attempt spinal block (scoliosis doesn’t help much), and then there’s the fact that someone has their hands INSIDE of you. It’s like the dentist, “You won’t feel pain, just pressure.” Yeah, right. I didn’t feel the scalpel but it felt like someone was sitting on my chest AND pushing my stomach and lungs up into my throat.

Yup, pretty much

5. So… c-c-cold… might… die

Another one I wasn’t warned about, surprise! Not only will you be freezing due to lack of clothing, but they keep the operating room super sterile and apparently that is synonymous with ARCTIC. Oh, and the spinal block. Unlike a vaginal birth, you have no choice about whether or not to use some kind of anesthesia. And spinal blocks give you this horrible sensation of internal cold and uncontrollable trembling. Super fun symptoms to have when you’re puking while horizontal. But the cold! Maybe it’s just me, but being freezing cold with nothing to do about it was ridiculously aggravating. It helped to imagine this, though:

Oh, Vince, you do go on

4. Here Comes Baby!

Nothing can really prepare you for the big moment. Most of the things they don’t tell you about c-sections are negative, but this is a rare positive surprise! I cannot put into words the mixture of intense emotions that surged through me when the big moment arrived. I was extremely relieved he was healthy, so excited to meet the little thing that was once smaller than a blueberry inside me, in awe of the fragility of this new life, nervous that I wasn’t going to be a good enough mom, and just blown away that this HUMAN came out of ME!

It really is!

3. Alone Again, Naturally

I may be in my late twenties, but I love me some melancholy 70s music. As Gilbert O’Sullivan so poignantly states, “Reality came around.  And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces.” Except I was cut just once, maybe six inches wide. Boy, did reality come around, though. After the awesome moment that you hear your baby’s first cry (of many), you are on your own again. I wanted to do the “natural” c-section thing, but with my severe shaking and unstoppable, frequent vomiting, they couldn’t bring the baby near me. So off he was carted, my husband went with him, and I was alone on the table getting stitched up. I guess I should have figured this, but the “finishing up” portion of the c-section took about forty-five minutes and was much longer compared to the “pre-baby coming out” part. Emotions were running high, I just wanted to be with my baby, but this is one you just have to endure.

OH THE FEELS

2. EXIT ONLY!

Warning: TMI ahead.

Pee-pee holes, as adults often call them, are meant for one thing and one thing only: to let urine out of your body. In other words, it is an exit only. This is why I hate catheters and do not like when grumpy nurses with cold hands wake me up and fiddle with a tube in my sensitive area.

Excuse me?!

Oh you thought the c-section was the end of people all up in your nether regions? Haha, nope! You will be woken up just as much, if not more, by the hospital staff than your own baby to check out your “stuff.” P.S. you don’t get to wear underwear for a while. You’ll lay on a doggy pee-pad while Carrie-sized amounts of blood just pour out for way too long. I thought that since it wasn’t a vaginal birth, it was normal down there. False. You’ve just had a baby taken out of you (a significant trauma) and the blood has to go somewhere. So expect your “exits” to still be examined for a while after the surgery.

1. You Want Me to Do WHA?

Hey you know how you just had a baby and you’re super achy but have somehow managed to muster what little strength you have to care for your baby? Well now they want you to freaking WALK. The audacity! They stress the importance of getting vertical and walking, and I get it, but does it have to be so soon?

Not an option, bro

Apparently, yes. You really do need to get up and walk. In the end, walking when I did – and doing it often – significantly helped with the healing process and getting my bowels moving. Trust me, do not underestimate the value of getting your tummy factory up and running again!

 

So there you have it: ten things that you probably didn’t know about the whole c-section process. Some parts of the experience are super unpleasant, some are just awkward, but in the end you get an incredible reward: your very own baby! Its resale value is slightly less now that it’s out of the original packaging, though. (GET IT?) But for real, I’d do it all again (maybe take a few more stool softeners) because nothing compares to the moment when you look into your baby’s eyes for the first time. Oh, geesh, where’s my Kleenex?

5 Things You Need to Get Over Now

Whether you’re pregnant with your first or a seasoned vet, you already know that your life is different with a child in the picture. So here are five things I realized I needed to get over (quickly!) in order to have a healthy, less stressful life.

5. Saying No

Whether you’re a social butterfly or a people-pleaser, you’re going to need to add this word to your vocabulary: NO.  In the beginning, your life as a mother might not have changed that much.  But soon, you’re probably going to need to get used to turning down party invitations, not volunteering for projects, and no longer being a pillar of strength for everyone but you.  Don’t feel guilty if you have to say no to a girls night out with your best friend.  The people who love you won’t be offended and will understand that you are going through a crazy tough time emotionally and physically.  Don’t be afraid to say no at work, either.  The laws in most states are pretty good at protecting pregnant women from unfair treatment in the workplace.  So if your boss orders you to pull multiple all-nighters or do something physically demanding, be unafraid and unashamed to say NO. 

Say it LOUD and PROUD

4. Superficial Things

Nothing puts things in perspective like bringing a life into the world.  All of a sudden, the little things seem comically small and you wonder why you ever worried about those things at all.  But we, as emotional women, will sometimes put a magnifying glass to trivial concerns and work ourselves into a tizzy over them.  Don’t fall prey to stressing over the superficial things.  First thing to go for me was caring about my appearance.  Once, I opened my door and the UPS man made a joke about me wearing pajamas in the afternoon.  I responded with, “I’m sick and I’m pregnant.”  He paused and replied with, “Did I mention those are very nice pajamas?”  Wise man.  You learn to not only get over caring about how you look, but about what people think.  You’re caring for and raising a human.  So remember that everything else comes second to that. You need to take care of yourself and be healthy in order to be able to take care of your little one.

You go, Penny!

3. Mistaking Pride for Bravery

I’ve brought this issue up before and continue to do so because it was such an important realization for me.  When my Lupus and Ehlers-Danlos were in full swing (pre-pregnancy), I was bound and determined to still live a normal, active life.  I wasn’t going to use my illnesses as a crutch and be dependent on others.  However, this kind of bull-headed approach can be quite dangerous when you enter motherhood.  You are not doing your baby any favors by trying to be “tough” and putting yourself in potentially harmful situations.  If you need help lifting something, ask.  If you can’t work anymore, don’t.  If something hurts, stop.  This was incredibly hard for me to do, but if you won’t accept support for yourself, do it for you baby’s sake.  Even the strongest people need help sometimes.

Even the best people can you extra support

2. Being Easily Intimidated

Some of you ladies may already have a strong, mama bear instinct, but some of us just need a little extra encouragement.  Outsiders also underestimate how frightening the whole experience of going through a high-risk pregnancy can be for a woman.  Not only are you getting opinions and advice from family and friends, but you’re getting news and orders from your doctors, too.  Whether you’re making decisions about your child’s health while you’re pregnant or while you’re in the pediatrician’s office, you need to stand firm in your right to protect your child.  When every decision you make has the potential to impact your baby’s health, it can be very easy to let anxiety take over and for your instinct to take the back seat.  A dear friend of mine – through no fault of her own – is dealing with the consequences of neglect and abuse of authority on the part of the medical staff that was supposed to be keeping her baby’s best interest at heart.  Though she doesn’t have a weak bone in her body, the doctors still made mistakes that changed the life of her baby forever.  Remember, you have the right to tell the doctors what you do/don’t consent to and you also have the right to be informed every step of the way.  You have to dig deep, listen to what your gut is telling you, and be outspoken about the issue.

Find your inner lioness

1. Being Embarrassed

Fact: when pregnant, strangers will be examining your downstairs.  Fact: you will not always have time to prepare for said examinations.  Fact: sometimes you will accidentally snart (sneeze+fart) on your doctor.  These things happen.  The only reason I put this on my list of things to get over, is that your well-intentioned preservation of dignity can actually be a bad thing.  I’m unfortunately speaking from experience.  Early on in pregnancy, I let my shyness, modesty, and embarrassment override my better sense of judgement.  I wrote off my pain and bleeding as possible hemorrhoid issues.  I also told myself that I was probably overreacting and that the blood was barely more than what I would call spotting.  As it turned out, I had a ruptured uterine cyst and a subsequent infection that led to a pre-term labor scare.  Thank the good Lord that everything worked in the end, but boy did I learn my lesson!  From then on out, I didn’t care if I grew a second anus and I didn’t care how many doctors would like to see my mutant sphincter.  (For the record I only have one anus, thankyouverymuch.)  Point being, get over any hang ups you have about embarrassment or weird body issues.  Your baby’s health is top priority.

Judy Garland knows what’s up

All joking aside, this was a very personal post to me.  I hope it lets women know they’re not alone in this struggle, there is support, and, now more than ever, it is necessary to have (and use) your strong voice!

10 Gross Things That Happen When You’re Pregnant

Newsflash: Despite what the airbrushed magazine covers would lead you to believe, pregnancy is not always cute.  In fact, it can be pretty gross.  Remember when you were a preteen and you were 99% sure that the changes happening to your body were abnormal and you were the only girl having these problems?  Well, pregnancy is a lot like going through a second puberty.  Don’t worry!  The weird stuff going on with your body is probably not that weird at all.  I just wish someone had warned me about the unpretty side of pregnancy!  So now I’m warning you.

10. Hair (not the musical)

This is the dawning of the age of… awkward hair growth.  While prenatal vitamins make the hairs on your head super lush, your hormones think it’s really funny to make hair sprout up in non-hair areas.  I’m having a boy, so some people have attributed the hair growth to the testosterone thing, but I have no idea how scientifically sound that is.  But I did have a white girl panic moment at the OBGYN one day, and she assured me (while holding back an eyeroll, I’m sure) that getting hair on your tummy, face, and beyond is all perfectly normal and will go away post-pregnancy.  I am holding her to that or suing for enough money to cover my Nair budget.

Hey! Who found this picture of me?

9. Can’t Blame the Dog

At times I swore I could single-handedly end our war with the Middle East with the insane amount of gas my body could produce.  I’m clearly not the most bashful person in the world, but even I was embarrassed by my grumbly tummy. During one particularly uncomfortable visit, I snarted in my obgyn’s face. In case you didn’t know, snarting is when you sneeze and fart at the same time. Yup.  Again, it’s all totally normal according to the doctors, but that doesn’t really make it any less awkward.  Thankfully Beano and Tums can make things a little more tolerable.  You also may want to avoid broccoli, chili, and eggs in the meantime.  Just saying.  I also apologize for having the sense of humor of an eight year old boy.  (Farts are kind of funny, admit it.)

Just for farts & giggles

8. Pizza Face

Like I said before, pregnancy can really feel like you’re going through puberty a second time.  There I was, like a fool, waiting for that famed “pregnancy glow” to come.  What I got instead was acne that made me super self-conscious.  If my gas couldn’t solve the crisis in the Middle East, the oil spill that was my face certainly could.  Switching from heavy foundation to a tinted SPF helped, though.  Try staying away from harsh scrubs and switching to a gentle toner safe for everyday use, too.  If all else fails, just keep telling yourself that this is temporary and you’re going to get a cool, little human out of the deal.  So putting up with teen-style acne seems like a pretty fair trade off if you ask me.

It could be worse

7. Got a Logjam in the River

No one warned me about the nightmare that is constipation.  The only way I can think to describe how awful it is, is for you to imagine trying to push a sideways pine cone through the eye of a needle.  Not.  Gonna.  Happen.  My OBGYN jokingly said it was a preview for giving birth, but needless to say I did not find that very funny.  Prune juice and fibrous foods are going to be your new bffs.  Don’t overdo it, though!  Let’s just say one day I was desperate, and one Dulcolax and three glasses of prune juice later, I had to frantically (but politely) scooch past eight people and run out of a movie theater.  Do you know how hard it is to clench and crabwalk past a row of strangers in the movies not once but twice?  Answer: pretty hard.

Prune. Juice.

6. Water, Water Everywhere

In addition to buying new bras and pants, you may want to invest in some pillowcase covers.  Why?  Because you’ll be drooling more than Homer Simpson around a dozen fresh Krispy Kreme donuts.  This may not happen to everyone, but it definitely did (and does) happen to me.  The first time I woke up, shocked by the yucky puddle of embarrassment on my pillow, I was unnerved to say the least.  Apparently your pregnancy hormones are less like some sweet, fairy godmothers turning your body into a magically, fertile goddess and are more like the cast of “Jackass” trying to find new and horrifying ways to embarrass you.  Just be thankful the extra drool only comes during sleep and not randomly during the day.

Just play it off

5. SO MANY EMOTIONS!!!

I was never a particularly girly-girl.  I didn’t cry when I watched romantic comedies.  In fact, I rarely watched rom-coms at all.  But when I became pregnant, all of a sudden those Sarah McLachlan hurt puppy commercials seemed really, really sad.  This isn’t really a gross side-effect of pregnancy, but it was definitely a strange one for me since I rarely ever cried pre-pregnancy.  Just be prepared to be filled with strange, new emotions or more intense versions of the emotions with which you are already familiar.  Do yourself a favor, though.  Don’t Google videos of dogs that are happy their owners are soldiers returning from war.  That’s just asking for it.

Why, Sarah McLachlan, WHY?

4. Bleeding Bloody Blood

While you’ve already gotten somewhat accustomed to stuff coming out of your various body holes, you may not have expected nosebleeds and bloody gums.  Naturally, after watching a marathon of “Untold Stories of the ER,” I assumed that my new Carrie-like problem was a definite sign of some type of hemorrhage.  Either that or my brain exploding.  Both seemed plausible at two in the morning.  Anyways, it turns out those pesky hormones are responsible for increased blood flow, more sensitive tissue, and inflamed blood vessels.  Combine all those factors and there you have a perfectly normal reason for your benign yet inconvenient nosebleeds and bloody gums.  If it gets really bad, though, do consult a physician… and don’t watch medical shows at two in the morning.

I was pretty convinced

3. Hair (again)

Though you won’t have this issue until further along into your pregnancy, your protruding tummy will eventually make shaving difficult if not impossible.  Unless you are a tenth level Yogi (that’s a thing, right?), then you may be out of luck in the flexibility department.  I’ve already had to relinquish being able to wear some of my cute clothes and my hormones had me feeling like Jabba the Hut.  So I was not about to add Sasquatch to the list.  While it’s still totally possible to be able to shave and maintain your grooming routine, you may want to cough up the dough and treat yourself to a professional waxing service.  I prefer to save myself the embarrassment of losing my balance in the shower trying to shave my legs.

Almost. Got. It!

2. Water (again)

You probably already knew that pregnant women have a reputation for needing to go to the bathroom every 2.7 seconds.  And although it is true that your bladder has been squished to the size of a thimble, it’s not just the frequency of urination that is the problem.  Bladder control becomes a very real, very gross reality in pregnancy.  Because you have a freakin’ human taking up room inside of you, it is totally understandable that things are going to change.  Pressure on your uterus, spasms due to stretched muscles, and stress put on your pelvic floor all contribute to the normal occurrence of incontinence during pregnancy.  Incontinence is a nice, doctor-y way of saying sometimes when you’re laughing you whiz, AKA lizzing.

Liz Lemon knows me too well

1. Birth Cannon Blaster

I’m no good with euphemisms and I find the clinical terms for lady parts to be off-putting.  So we’re just gonna stick with what we’ve got.  Basically, at some point in your pregnancy, you’re going to feel your little miracle kick!  This can be totally awesome and a really beautiful moment to share with your partner.  But then comes the “downstairs” kicking.  It is such an unusually sharp and crazy pain, that you may even jump a little when you initially feel it.  I totally thought that I was going into labor the first time I felt the “fireworks.”  Not that you can ever really prepare for an internal crotch kick, but if I had at least known this was a possibility, I might have been able to maintain a better demeanor whilst sitting in an Applebee’s with friends.  I yelped and jumped for no reason, but thankfully I have understanding girlfriends who weren’t put off by my hoo-ha issues.  Turns out this, too, is normal and nothing to be worried about.  Sure is an adventure, though!

Kinda feels like this

And there you have it.  The ten weird, gross, and awkward things that happened to me and my body that I wished someone had told me about.  Fortunately most of the crazy things that occur during your pregnancy are totally normal, but as always, listen to your body.  If something seems off, don’t hesitate to contact a medical professional.  Otherwise, try to keep a good sense of humor about the unusual changes happening to your body.  And if you laugh about it, just try not to pee yourself 😉

10 Things to Know for Your 1st Prenatal Visit: High-Risk Edition

Yay!  You’re pregnant!  Or, if you’re like me, you’re pretty sure you are but insist on taking a bajillion tests anyways “just to be safe.”  And now that you’re (fairly) confident that you are indeed with child, you’ll need to make your first prenatal appointment!  Yay?  It can seem intimidating, especially if you already know that it’s going to be a high-risk pregnancy.  Although hopping on the very reliable Interwebs in the name of “research” may seem like a good idea, it usually isn’t.

So many WebMd articles to read!

Funny thing about your first visit: the time between when you make the appointment and when it actually is, will seemingly not abide by the rules of time and space.  I like to call this “The Waiting Vortex.”  Logically you know your appointment is only two weeks away, which isn’t really that long. but somehow two weeks ends up feeling like three months.  Approximately.  Your vortex may vary.

C’mon, how could I resist a Doctor Who gif?

All right, so the day has finally arrived for your first prenatal visit!  You’re probably pretty stoked.

Oh to be that excited

So here are 10 tips I wish I had been told before my first prenatal visit:

10. Take someone with you

This may seem like a no-brainer, but just having someone to go with you can ease a lot of your stress and help take your mind off things.  They can also be your reinforcement, remind you of any questions or concerns you have, or (worst case scenario) be someone that will stand up for you.

Some people just need more convincing

9. Your Mother was Right

This one may seem silly, but the old, maternal adage “wear clean underwear, in case you get in an accident” is embarrassingly accurate.  While everything from potential birth defects to morning sickness woes are occupying a large portion of your brain, what you wear to your first prenatal visit probably isn’t ranking high on your list of concerns.  It wasn’t until I was regretting my tank-top decision in the freezing waiting room that I realized I didn’t shave my legs and I was wearing my “it’s laundry day” underwear.  Just saying, you won’t find this on any cute pregnancy blog, but you will thank me when you’ve avoided having to explain your poor life choices to the ultrasound tech who is staring judgingly at your lower half.

“Sure, it’s ‘laundry day,’ riiiight”

8. Be a Nerd

Write down any and all questions you have prior to the visit and don’t be embarrassed to bring your notes with you.  Heck, make a cute Lisa Frank binder if you want and who cares about any nurses that are jealous of your awesomely bedazzled Trapper Keeper!  But seriously, write down every question you have, no matter how dumb you think it is.

Ask your doctor everything

7. Don’t Be Intimidated

I cannot stress this one enough.  Throughout your whole pregnancy, you will have to make a lot of healthcare choices for both you and your baby.  Don’t let the doctors/specialists/nurses make you feel rushed for a decision.  Don’t assume that they know everything.  You are your own advocate.  It’s very easy to fall under their spell.  You think, “Well, they’re the ones with the medical degrees.  They must know best.  I should just keep my concerns to myself.  What do I know?”  Answer: You know everything!  Even prior to my pregnancy, I had to be persistent about getting the right healthcare.  It took me years to even get my Lupus diagnosis.  So if your body is telling you something is wrong, listen.  Listen, and then don’t stop making your concerns known until you get your answers.  The doctors are there for you.  This is their job.  Don’t let them make you feel bad for demanding the healthcare you and your baby deserve.

Don’t be shy and nervous like Beaker

6. It’s Not Just Physical

Aside from the gurbly tummy brought on by nerves, you may already be experiencing some early pregnancy symptoms, too.  Now, this may just be me, but I genuinely feel that we as high-risk women have a lot more on our plate mentally.  So while morning sickness is a totally normal thing to have, the crippling anxiety that plagues you before getting the answers you so desperately desire at your appointment, is a whole other ball game.  This is normal, though.  You are under a tremendous amount of stress and it is impossible to think that your pregnancy will look like some Hollywood-version, free of worry, anxiety, and self doubt.  If you feel that the emotional and mental side of things is already too much, bring it up at your first visit.  You are not the first high-risk mom they’ve seen and certainly not the first to feel the mental strain of it all.  There’s no shame in admitting you and your baby need support.

Emotional nausea is a real thing, people.

5. Medicine, Tests, and Pills, oh my!

You’ve probably already heard about prenatal vitamins, and if you aren’t already taking them, this will be something your doctor will prescribe for you at this visit.  Something high-risk pregnancy women have to consider is whether or not their current medicine regimen will need to change.  A friend of mine with Fibromyalgia was no longer able to take certain medicines, particularly ones that helped her manage her pain.  Find out what alternatives there are and which of your current medicines fall into the “C” category (which are medicines that pregnant women can not take).  On the flip side, they may be prescribing you new medicines to deal with any issues they think need to be controlled during the pregnancy.  Again, if there is anything you are uncomfortable with, don’t let them pressure you into making a quick decision.  Get a second opinion, do your research, and then proceed.  In addition to researching what medicines you will feel comfortable taking, add prenatal tests to the list.  There are some basic, non-invasive tests out there that are routinely done (blood tests from the mother, ultrasounds, etc).  But there are some that you may not feel comfortable doing (amniocentesis, quad screen, etc), so feel free to ask your doctor what tests are absolutely necessary and what the pros/cons are.  And get used to repeating yourself (and your list of medications/allergies/conditions) to every single member of the medical staff.

You’d think they would communicate with each other

4. New Life = New Lifestyle?

You have a new little life growing inside you, so now you have to consider how your lifestyle will or won’t impact your baby.  At your first prenatal visit, it’s a great idea to ask the doctor what your new reality is going to look like.  If you’re a fitness nut, ask what level of exercise is safe for you and baby.  If you’re a foodie, ask what foods and beverages are safe and which you should stay away from completely.  If you’ve got a touch of wanderlust, ask about limitations on traveling.  I’m not just talking about the typical “no flying in the third trimester” thing, but if you’re at risk for something like blood clots or pulmonary embolisms, road trips may not be in your near future.  Depending on the severity of your high-risk pregnancy, you should also ask about if and when you will need to quit work.  As much as you don’t want to think about it, bed rest may be a real possibility for you at some point in your pregnancy.  You may start to feel like trying to keep some semblance of your “normal” life is pointless, but don’t lose hope.

He should probably give up, though

3. There is ME in TEAM!

Most likely, since you are high-risk, your primary doctor will want to set up a medical team of sorts to monitor you and your baby throughout the pregnancy.  For instance, I’m seeing my regular OBGYN, a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialist, a cardiologist, a gastroenterologist (GI), and an orthopedic doctor.  They wanted me to see a rheumatologist as well, but they couldn’t find one in my area that accepted my insurance, so they just monitor my ANA levels and send me for regular labwork.  So find out as soon as possible what kind of doctors they will want you to see, which are absolutely necessary, who accepts your insurance, and how much they expect you to be involved in compiling this team.  And I will continue stressing this, don’t be intimidated and remember that this team is there for you.  If you feel there is not enough communication happening between the various doctors you are seeing, speak up!  Once when I was getting labwork done, the nurse realized there was a duplicate order and that was because the GI and the MFM had not shared plans with each other and ordered the same tests.  Good times.

He’s got a point, ladies

2. Hold It

Another seemingly silly piece of advice, but a lifesaver, if you ask me.  DON’T PEE BEFORE YOUR VISIT!!!  At your first prenatal appointment, they are going to ask you to give a sample, and by sample they mean pee.  Bad news for you if you went before you left your house.  Because they will make you sit there and drink water from those flimsy cone cups until your bladder tank is full enough.  Not a major issue, but I do wish someone had told me they would need a sample before my first visit.  So now I’m telling you.  You’re welcome.

Congrats!  You’re pregnant!  Now pee in this cup.

1. ENJOY THIS!!!

It may be hard to put all the anxiety and negativity out of your head, but just take a second to stop and realize how awesome this is.  Forget all the downers and hypothetical tragedies.  You have a life growing inside of you!  Savor this moment.  At your first visit they will do an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, so this will be the first time you will get to see your baby!  Honestly, it won’t look like a baby, but it’s still pretty freaking cool!  So embrace this amazing time in your life and cherish it 🙂

Dude! I’m having a baby!