We’ve all heard of the 5 stages of grief, and for many high-risk mamas out there, the countdown to your little one’s birth can feel very similar. You’re excited but terrified, ready for this pregnancy to be over but not sure what will happen when it ends, and the ever-present hormones are wreaking havoc on your sanity. With less than a week to go until the “Big Day,” here are some of the roller coaster emotions I’ve been going through.
Maybe if I just don’t think about it, I can delay labor indefinitely? I mean, that sounds pretty logical, right? It seems like the closer I get to the big day, the more people want to tell me about all the scary aspects of labor, delivery, and the first few weeks home with a newborn. Apparently it’s considered rude to just plug my ears and run away?
So I’ve buried my head in the sand. Sand takes many forms, though. It can take the form of binge-watching my favorite shows on Netflix, spending (too much) time on Etsy/Pinterest, or starting laborious arts and crafts projects. All of which seem completely acceptable. And worst comes to worst, I’ll just cross my legs really hard and keep the little bugger in there until I’m really ready.
WHAT? You mean I can’t just cross my legs and will the baby to stay inside until I’m ready??? Preposterous! Facing the inevitability of the situation can drive anyone to anger. I thought I was already used to the whole “lack of control” thing when it came to my health and this pregnancy, but with time slipping through my fingers, I just wanted to yell and yell until something happened.
Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant, but nothing feels as good as “Angreating.” Yes I made this word up. It’s a combo of angry and eating, and it means exactly what you think it does. You’re mad, feel like you’re out of options, so you pick up that tray of Oreos and just start shoving ’em in. So feel free to shout “I’M ANGREATING!” when your significant other fearfully asks what you’re doing surrounded by Dove chocolate wrappers.
Okay, okay, you’re right. I went a little overboard there, covered in Doritos dust and shame. So if I start reigning in my crazy just a tad, perhaps the Universe can do me one teensy tiny little solid with this whole labor and delivery thing? Shall I resort to yelling again until I can convince the world to cut me some slack?
I’m sure there has been some point in the middle of the night when you can’t find a comfy position, your hips are about to disintegrate, your mind is racing with WebMD photos of c-sections, and now you have to pee, that you have called out to a Higher Power for some kind of relief. Don’t feel embarrassed, we’ve all been there, desperately offering up whatever we can think of in exchange for a shred of sanity.
Clearly bargaining doesn’t work, you’ve eaten all the cookies, and there is no sand left in which to bury your burdened little head. Oh don’t mind me, I’m just going to spend the rest of my days in bed, staring at the wall, wondering where it all went wrong. Sigh.
And according to all the forums on baby/pregnancy websites, I’m undoubtedly going to be the worst mother ever. Perfect. With only a handful of days until my baby is here, the reality of the situation has moved to the unbearable stage. In less than a week, a tiny human is going to be completely dependent on me for survival, and I can’t even manage to work up the necessary energy to put on pants.
If I’m being completely honest, I haven’t fully embraced this stage yet. I am optimistic, though. What I’ve realized is that, whether I cross my legs or not, this baby is coming. While it may be easy to just sit around (pantless) and eat my feelings, that’s not going to change the situation.
Alright ladies, the big day is indeed approaching! So let’s try to put all the unsettling thoughts and unwelcome advice on the back burner and focus on really taking advantage of every moment leading up to the minute you get to meet your baby! Get your partner or family or friends to help you with any last minute errands, treat yourself to something you’ve been putting off, and rest up mama! GET READY FOR LIFE!!!